Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is natural but it is also something you learn along the way. Research says it is one of the most important parts of a baby’s early growth, protecting against infections, helping brain development, and bringing comfort to both mother and baby. But no one tells you that it is not always easy in the beginning. It takes patience, guidance and time.
Prep before the First Feed
• Eat foods that support milk production such as fenugreek, fennel, cumin and dill leaves.
• Focus on an iron and calcium rich diet with leafy vegetables, lentils, ragi, sesame seeds and dry fruits.
• Massage your nipples gently during pregnancy so that they become soft and shaped, making it easier for the baby to latch after birth.
• Prepare for breastfeeding with a feeding pillow and feeding tops or clothes that make feeding more comfortable.
• Learn about proper latch and feeding positions, and talk to your partner for support.
• Have one glass of water every time before breastfeeding to stay hydrated and support milk flow.
The Hospital Days… Tiny Hands, Big Lessons
The first few days were honestly confusing. I did not know how to hold the baby or how to make her latch. She was so small, and I was scared to even move. A breastfeeding counselor at the hospital came and showed me how to position her and what to do, and that helped a lot. If you ever get a chance, ask for a lactation consultant. They really know what to do and can make things less stressful.
I had a feeding pillow ready before going to the hospital which helped me a lot. Since I had a normal delivery, sitting was painful, so I also had a donut shaped pillow that helped me sit comfortably while feeding. I did not lie down and feed for the first few months. The counselor said it is fine as long as someone is around or I am alert. Those early days were all about sitting on a chair, using the pillow and slowly learning what works.
The Early Months… Learning Together
Once I came home, things got a little easier. A lady who helped us knew a lot about newborns and guided me through those first few days. My body produced a lot of milk initially, much more than what was needed, which made my breasts feel full and hard. It was painful at times, but I learned that it is completely normal. The body adjusts to the baby’s needs after a few weeks. Whenever it felt too heavy, I used to pump the extra milk and feed it later.
During the newborn period, I was advised to feed the baby every 2 hours. Once feeding was established and she was gaining weight well, I followed her hunger cues and fed on demand. Lactation consultants often explain that there is no fixed feeding duration, some babies may feed for only a few minutes, while others may feed for 20 minutes or longer. Every baby is different, so the baby's growth, diaper output, and overall well-being are more important than the length of each feed. In the beginning, my nipples hurt a lot, so I wore a nipple cap for a few days. It protected them and helped them heal faster. I also used a product called Nipple Healers where you can keep a few drops of breast milk inside and place it on the nipple for healing, and that helped too.
3 to 6 Months… Finding Our Rhythm
By the third month, feeding became easier. Sometimes, the milk would flow too fast and the baby would cough so I had to pull away. I learned to let a little milk flow out first before feeding again. Slowly, the baby and I found our rhythm. Around five to six months, I stopped using the feeding pillow because she had grown and I had become more confident.
For many months I would sit on my wooden chair with my feeding pillow and feed. Later, when sitting became easier, I started feeding while sitting on the bed instead.
After 9 Months… A Little Boss Emerges
By around nine or ten months, she began asking for milk herself. Babies become very attached to breastfeeding because it gives them comfort, food and love all at once. It is said that breastfeeding can continue up to two years if possible, but even feeding for one to one and a half years gives amazing benefits.
What It Really Feels Like…
There are challenges in breastfeeding. In the beginning, there can be soreness, oversupply, clogged ducts, and sleepless nights that seem never-ending. It feels confusing and sometimes overwhelming. You keep wondering if the baby is getting enough milk, if the latch is right, or if you are doing it correctly. There are many small worries that keep running through your mind.
But as time passes, things slowly get better. Once the baby learns to latch properly and finds a rhythm, it becomes more natural. Then comes a new phase when the baby starts teething and may bite while feeding. It hurts, but over time you learn small ways to manage it, like gently placing a finger between the baby’s gums or pulling the baby closer so they stop biting.
Later, as the baby grows older, feeding becomes a happy, playful moment. The baby starts asking for milk in their own way, pulling your clothes or saying the word they associate with feeding. When you finally give milk, the excitement and joy on their face, the way they smile and look at you, makes everything worth it.
Yes, it can still be tiring at times, especially when the baby feeds often or for long stretches. It can sometimes cause pain or fatigue, so it’s important to eat well and stay hydrated. But even with the tiredness and the occasional discomfort, breastfeeding brings a deep sense of peace and connection. Watching your baby feed calmly or smile in between makes every effort feel meaningful.
The End of Our Breastfeeding Journey..
I decided to stop breastfeeding when she was around 20 months old, but it wasn't a sudden decision. A few months before that, I had already started reducing feeds. By then, she had naturally stopped asking during some parts of the day, especially when we were around family and she was busy playing. Eventually, breastfeeding was mostly limited to before her afternoon nap, before bedtime, and two or three times during the night.
Once I had decided on a date, I started preparing both of us about two weeks in advance. We called breastmilk "dudu," and every day I gently told her that soon the dudu would be finished, empty, and would taste bitter. At first, she simply smiled and didn't seem to take it seriously. The day before weaning, I felt quite emotional and nervous because I didn't know how she would react.
On the morning of the day I decided to stop, I breastfed her as usual and then explained that the dudu was finished. During her afternoon nap, she asked for it again and started crying because she really wanted it. At that point, I applied a very small amount of aloe resin (Rakta Bol/Elwa). As soon as she tasted it, she was completely surprised by the bitterness. I calmly told her, "See, it's bitter now."
After that, I asked if she wanted some water, and she drank a glass. I had also made chickpea and date laddoos, so she ate one of those. She asked for dudu a few more times, and each time I gently repeated that it had become bitter. Soon she started saying it herself: "Bitter... no need." About 45 minutes later, she fell asleep. She didn't throw a tantrum or become very upset, which honestly surprised me.
The nights were the hardest for about three days. She woke up many times asking for dudu. I didn't try to distract her or replace breastfeeding with anything else. I simply stayed calm, patted her back to sleep, and repeated the same explanation every time. I even offered her water during the night, but she didn't want it. Those first few nights were difficult, and I got very little sleep.
Over the next few days, she continued asking, but less often each day. She never became angry or frustrated; she simply kept checking whether dudu was available again. By the end of the first week, she had adjusted well to the new routine.
I had also prepared myself for how my body might respond because a few mothers had shared their experiences with me. They suggested keeping a cabbage in the refrigerator and placing the chilled cabbage leaves on the breasts, as it may help provide some relief from engorgement. I used the chilled cabbage leaves for the first three days. I don't think they made a significant difference, but they did provide a nice cooling effect while they were cold.
By the first night, my breasts became very full, hard, and quite painful to touch. At one point, she leaned on me while trying to balance herself, and it hurt a lot. The discomfort lasted for about four days before gradually improving. By around the sixth day, the fullness had mostly settled, although I still noticed a small amount of milk. By about the twelfth day, everything had returned to normal
Interestingly, weaning didn't change her sleep as much as I had expected. Even now, she still stirs or partially wakes two or three times during the night, just as she did before.
Looking back, I feel that preparing her ahead of time, staying calm, and being consistent made the whole experience much smoother than I had imagined. Even now, she sometimes laughs and says, "Dudu... bitter... no need!" and we both smile.